Dormont, PA — In what will be a proud moment for Pittsburghers, Banksville resident and basketball prodigy Matt ‘Sar’ Sartalis has officially signed on with the Durmont Doozers, a new expansion team in the NBA D-League, set to debut in 2025. After selling his successful karaoke & catering business in 2023, Sartalis is ready to take a shot at fulfilling his lifelong dream of professional basketball—despite never having played organized high school or college ball.
Sartalis has spent the past several months polishing his “craft” on the court, according to sources and multiple scouts who wished to remain anonymous. “I’ve been really focused,” Sartalis declared in a press conference held in his backyard. “I’ve watched a lot of YouTube tutorials and perfected my jump shot while also spending a lot of time on my footwork. Footwork is key. I can’t emphasize that enough. These young guys now just focus so much on playing the game that they neglect perfecting their footwork. My footwork and visualization is what has allowed me to be as consistent as I have been.”
While many aspiring athletes follow the traditional path of high school and college basketball, the West Virginia University graduate opted for a different route. “I thought academics were important,” he explained, “so I pursued my degree in Business Management and focused on my business instead of free throws.” This unique combination of skills has resulted in a karaoke catering business that really took off.
As the head chef and karaoke DJ of Karaoke Catering 412, Sartalis has become a local sensation, often hosting events where guests can enjoy his signature “grand slam” chicken skewers while belting out classics from the ‘90s. His distinct approach to life led him to believe that success in the kitchen could seamlessly translate to success on the basketball court. “Cooking is just like basketball,” he stated earnestly. “It’s all about timing and creativity. I just have to learn to throw the ball instead of the salad.”
The Durmont Doozers, a team that is as ambitious as its new player, has expressed excitement about Sar’s unique background. Head Coach Dave Wannstedt said, “Matt brings a fresh perspective to the game. His enthusiasm is contagious, and his business acumen will surely help in negotiating contracts—hopefully not over a karaoke microphone.”
Though critics have raised eyebrows about his late entry into professional sports, Sartalis remains undeterred. “I’m ready to prove everyone wrong,” he said, emphasizing that his recent training regimen includes extensive practice in dribbling.
The Doozers are set to kick off their inaugural season in a matter of months, and Sartalis is determined to make an impact—both on and off the court. Whether he’ll be sinking three-pointers or simply serving triple-doubles remains to be seen. For now, the entire city of Pittsburgh is behind him, eagerly awaiting the day when karaoke meets basketball in what is sure to be a memorable season.
Stay tuned as Matt ‘Sar’ Sartalis aims to turn his dreams into reality—one airball at a time.
